whenever we put ourselves in a akward situation, i know i would be the one who give up and just walk away. I never tried to show persistance in everything i do maybe almost all. I don't think the fault lies on whoever, i guess both was partly to be blamed. Its just never amazing enough to be great friends, but whenever something happen i never tried to once solve it because i'm terrified by the hurt caused. At least, I was once afraid to hurt anybody around me but now i guess i'm so used to all these , i've got numb to my feelings. No can't do it, i'm not sad, not angry, not happy, not the Me i know, i've came to realise i had become into someone who already can't feel her emotions, Shes numb. And now, she can't do anything but type everything out, i've never ever thought of trying to save myself from this hard core situation. I don't feel like it because i think if i came out, i will have once try to salvage everything again. This leads me to nowhere , and guess what it hurts. :( What makes you weak would make you stronger eventually. But i guess i'm definitely the opposite, everytime i get sad i would get back on my feet. But the next time, i would feel the rush of sadness worst than the other time. Seems so unpractical but so true. Everything just aint true to me at this moment of time. When situation gets better, i would get better. But it seems forever before it even gets better. This time i don't think it was my fault but i guess everybody sees it as my fault. If this friendship is so fragile, i rather have a distance away from you, at least you would lead a happier life. I swore i din't want to be sad or emo ever again, but i broke it . I din't mean it. And for the first time, i don't think i would be fine ever again. Then now and again peoplewould go to her to ask what is happening to Glenda, i guess i'm getting irritated by all these small things. I'm stressed yabut nobody ever knows. Then another thing will come around, who do you think Glenda wouldchoose, edmund or terence? And to think iwould never bother to answer such silly question. But now i guess i'm not happy with everything in life now . So here, I'm not going to choose anybody No i won't so i beg you people or what stop all these nonsense. I need to concentrate on 'O's now but i don't seem how i can do it if everything i stacking up on me. People always ask why come to yuying? At first my reply was always because i like it here or maybe someothers. But now i seem to ponder on the choice into Yuying. I never thought i would regret , maybe i did But i guess i love it too. If you read until here good for you , those who din't sad for you. I'm tired , seriously tired. I need to hug someone now, I need to talk to someone now. :( If the last thing i do , i would start everything over again. Nobody really needs me, I don't see a point to stay myself. I made my font bigger so you would read it yourself not ask others about my problem.
It's me myself and i from now onwards to overcome the 'O' obstacle on 14 july first.
Ya, the greatest competitor is always yourself . So true
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Ciaos
if you think i'm fine @
